(no subject)

[tibetanmethod]

When he walks in the Twin Peaks Sheriff's Station, Lucy leans forward to see who it is -- and her face lights up. She insists on chattering about wedding plans -- there are fifty-six tiny bows, seven columns, eight rows, lined up on her desk, ready to go on invitations -- and asks him about his opinion for the color of ink she ought to use, and says, hesitant, that of course he's invited if he wants to come but she and Andy will understand because technically there's not a murder going on here any more which is a good thing but it probably means that he has to leave soon because he works for the FBI and not Sheriff Truman and just for the record Andy really liked working with him and said it was like --

"Agent Cooper." Hawk sticks his head out of the conference room. He's smiling. "Good to see you. If you have time, we're in here."

Cooper tells Lucy that he wouldn't miss the wedding for the world, and he likes the grass green over the forest green.

***

In the conference room it's Harry, Hawk, Andy, Major Briggs, and -- in the corner with his fingers steepled -- Albert. All of them express their delight at seeing him back.

Major Briggs takes him aside and says, "Agent Cooper, I understand that you have been in a place full of signs and wonders, and I hope that one day you will see fit to confide in me about your experiences within the Black Lodge. But I know from my time in the White Lodge that the Lodges are places that affect a man in ways that no other man can understand, and I understand that considering everything that has happened, you may not be eager to speak. If and when you are, though -- " He claps Cooper on the shoulder. " -- I'm ready to listen."

"Thank you, Major," says Cooper, trying out a smile. It mostly works.

There's more for them to discuss -- the South Africans, Leo Johnson, the explosion at the bank.

And finally, they break, and Cooper is the last one left.

Well. Almost.

Comments

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

Albert's in the conference room, with something in a mug. It's not coffee.

Caffeine is agitating.



He seems remarkably... at peace.

[tibetanmethod]

Cooper keeps sitting for a moment.

And then rises, and walks over to the chalkboard. It's still got the map to the Black Lodge on it -- the one Andy reproduced after their field trip to Owl Cave.

He deliberately turns his back on it, and says, "Albert, I've heard some news about you that's both worrying and encouraging."

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

Albert puts up a hand, and rises. "Coop. That can wait a moment. First allow me to reveal of a deeply-felt but rarely shown emotion by saying that is damn good to have you back, alive and apparently well. With your permission, I'd lke to embrace you."

[tibetanmethod]

...yep.

Something is rotten (or...the antithesis) in the state of Albert.

Visible surprise, yes; but Cooper says, speaking plainly, "Albert. Permission granted."

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

Albert's version of an embrace is more like clapping the other man on both shoulders at the same time, from a uniform distance of four to six inches, with eye contact.

"How are you, Coop? I know you've had a hell of a time."

[tibetanmethod]

There's a letter in his pocket.

Still.

"Albert, I've been better."

He's still not wearing his badge. Or his gun.

"But what about you? I heard you had a run-in with -- Nyarlathotep."

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

"He did nothing worse than tell me the truth, Coop, and while I doubt that that's the least weapon in his daunting arsenal, he caught me only a glancing blow." He gestures towards the table and takes a seat.

"He told me that... well, hell, Coop. I gave him a piece of my mind and all he said was that he'd always liked me." Albert looks rueful; almost grim.

[tibetanmethod]

As he sits, Cooper looks up sharply.

Slowly: "That's a hard thing to take, Albert."

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

"You're telling me."


"He went on to say that although I claim to cherish an ideal of universal harmony and peace, a philosophy fundamentally predicated on love, I go about my daily life in such a way as to inevitable frustrate and destroy the hope of those I claim to wish to uplift."

[tibetanmethod]

"And you think he was right."

Half a question, half a statement. Cooper has often wondered just how aware Albert is of how his behavior affects others.

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

He nods. "I've come to realize, Coop, that I live a life that tears people down. I don't want to live that way. I want to build people up."

"Take Deputy Andy. Not much of a lawman, I'll admit. But does my constant criticism make him a better deputy? Or does his simple awareness of my hostile presence drive him to greater and greater excesses of incompetence? He works hard, he dresses presentably, and on most days his shoes are the right way around. Around here that's probably enough 95% of the time. And history has shown than in exceptional situations he can rise to the occasion. Who am I to cast the first stone?"

[tibetanmethod]

Cooper blinks at him. "Albert...I don't know what to say."

He's been hanging around Moiraine, after all.

No word that is not true.

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

"The problem is, Coop, I don't know how to do it. I'm intelligent, impatient, and outspoken. It's hard for me to respect anyone who can't keep up with me or live up to the level of competence I demand of myself, and if I don't respect somebody I don't seem to be able to keep it from them."

"I've got a lot to learn, and no clear idea how to learn it."

[tibetanmethod]

Cooper folds his arms, elbows on the table, and leans forward. "Well, do you have any abstract ideas?"

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

"I want to be a better person. More considerate. I want to inspire greatness, rather than breed discouragement. The way you do. Coop, you not only see the best in everyone, you bring it out of them, and in a genuine way, not by flattery."

[tibetanmethod]

So much for the leaning forward. "That's quite a compliment, Albert. Thank you."

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

"It's only the truth. You're an odd duck, Coop, but you're one hell of a human being."

[tibetanmethod]

"So are you, Albert." Completely earnest. "Think of this as adding to your established foundation of experience. Experience is the starting point for education."

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

"I think I need some time away from the Bureau until I can process all this," Albert says. "I can't be a competent agent until I'm satisfied with myself personally."

"I've asked Gordon for time off, a sabbatical, and he agreed. The problem is, I'm wondering where to go and how best to apply myself to work through these things. I'd welcome your recommendations."

[tibetanmethod]

Cooper sits back in his chair, considering this.

He begins to smile, slowly.

"I graduated from high school two years early -- and spent several years traveling. A year and a half at a monastery in Thailand. Eight months in India. Six months in Peru. I found the monastic life to be eminently suitable for reflection, and it's a course I'd recommend for anyone who wants to take a closer look at the whys and wherefores of human interaction with the universe." Beat. "Dharamsala. In India. It's the headquarters of the Tibetan government-in-exile."

"Of course, if you don't want to leave the confines of the United States, Boulder, Colorado has an influx of people interested in Tibet. Though I'm not certain how serious some of them are. Still -- that's where Chogyam Trungpa started the Naropa Institute. I'm still not quite certain what to make of it -- there's an indigenist scholar by the name of Ward Churchill at UC Boulder who dismisses the Shambhala school of thinking as a dangerous attempt to co-opt a religion to make the establishment feel better about themselves."

Silence.

"...Dharamsala."

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

Albert nods, solemn as a judge.

"All right. I'll begin by spiritual oddyssey with the fruitcakes in Boulder then, and if I feel like I'm making progress I'll make my way to India." Notice that he doesn't say the losers in India. I think he's grown. "From there I'll play it by ear." Said with a certain element of distaste; Albert is a meticulous sort of person. "What are your feelings on postcards?"

[tibetanmethod]

"Sending or receiving?"

Cooper likes tape recorders.

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

"Receiving."

[tibetanmethod]

"Albert, I'd be honored to receive as many as you'd like to send." Beaming, mildly. "And you'll let me know where to write?"

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

Whenever I have a fixed address." Despite himself, Albert is beginning to sound enchanted by the prospect of an open road.

"Coop. It's my opinion that when a deep reservoir of affection and respect exists between two men, it's not often necessary to delve deep into the matter, so long as they both understand it's there. So I won't go into that. But I do want to take this opportunity to apologize for my skepticism over the years, and any subsequent mockery of you and your worldview. Your methodology and cosmology have won the day after all."

"I also want to ask you if there's any way I can support you, either emotionally or in some material way, before I begin to walk my path."

[tibetanmethod]

"The victory seems a little hollow at the moment, Albert." His smile doesn't linger. "If you'd accept my apology for all of this -- that's more than enough."

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

"What the hell are you talking about, Coop? You aren't blaming yourself for all this, are you?" Albert rolls his eyes. "Listen up, knucklehead. You didn't bring this trouble with you. You came to it, because it's your job, and you caught the worst of it because it's your job, and you survived it and kept going. Because that's the job."

He points at the blackboard. "That little piece of art was scrawled on a cave wall when you were nothing more than a lecherous twinkle in an ancestral eye. The window was going to open, January to June, whether you were here or not. Without you, Bob would've killed again by now, again and again. You had a rough time, but you're okay now, and Bob's gone. That's what you coming here did."

Albert taps on the desk or emphasis. "Fidelity. Bravery. Integrity. If you violated one of those precepts, then you're damn right you owe an apology. Otherwise, I won't hear it."

[tibetanmethod]

Cooper is silent for a long moment.

And finally says, quietly, "Albert, your good sense is a beacon of light in dark times. Thank you."

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

"Coop." Albert thrusts his hand out. "It's been an honor to work with you. I hope and intend to do it again one day, when I'm on firmer existential ground."

[tibetanmethod]

Cooper shakes. "Albert, I'm looking forward to that day. And any advice, anything -- write me in care of Gordon or Harry. They'll know where to find me."

[middle-name-s.livejournal.com]

"Glad to hear it, Coop. Take care." And leaving his cup of--horror of horrors, is that decaf?--Albert goes.

Exeunt Albert Rosenfield, pursued by a metaphysical bear of a dilemma.